Ramon's Gay Life Blog

Front cover images would have us believe that gay pride is nothing more than uncovered abs and backless chaps flailing aimlessly. To the contrary, gay pride isn't just a parade. Pride is a march, with many of the same intentions as the first Stonewall marches of 1969: recognition, tolerance, protection and inclusion. For many participants, pride is still a demonstration for their causes, faiths, cultures, hobbies, and beliefs.

Blogger Bejata recounts his New York City pride experience and how he went from onlooker to activist:

"I came to the conclusion years ago that being in the New York City Gay Pride march was far more interesting than watching it. It’s the difference between being an active participant versus a passive observer. Besides, I love to hear people cheer whenever I go by."

Bejata also reminds us that on the books, Pride is technically a march and not a parade:

"More than 300 organizations and a half million people take part in the march. In terms of permit applications it is officially a march, not a parade; a march is a political event that comes with guaranteed first amendment rights that cannot be denied on the whim of some bureaucrat. Moving that many people into parade formation still takes coordination and patience however."

Read Bejata's complete recap of Heritage of Pride 2008.

_{Image © Ramon Johnson.}

Back in 2006, I asked if gays should carry guns. The discussion was inspired by a blogger's response to a gay bashing episode on the now canceled show Noah's Arc.

Last week, in a historic decision, the U.S. Supreme Court reaffirmed an individual's constitutional right to carry a handgun. The ruling comes at an interesting time when we are continually reminded that violence does little but create grief and cost money that could be better allocated elsewhere. Still yet, there are pros and cons of gun ownership.

On one hand, I don't feel violence is the answer. On another, violence against gays is still very much a fact of life. Should aggression be combated with more aggression? Should gays carry guns for protection?

_{Image © David Hartman.}

I'm sure you've heard of journaling or may know of someone that journals. Why should you give it a try? Well, for starters, there are many benefits to journaling. Jotting down your thoughts is a great way to manage stress. Journaling can also helps you achieve some degree of clarity on how to best approach the tough situations in your life, like coming out.

What often makes coming out a seemingly unbearable process is the stress and fear of the unknown. Many guys wonder how their parents or their friends will take the news. They wonder if they will ever be in a happy relationship or have kids. And as the internalized homophobia we grew up with begins to unravel, the stress of rebuilding a life out in the open can be overwhelming. Keeping a coming out journal can help you separate your fears and thoughts from the reality of the situation. It can also help you develop a plan on how best to come out. Here's how to start your own coming out journal.

Coming Out Tips and Suggested Readings:
Coming Out Tips
How To Come Out
The Benefits of Journaling
Stress Management at About.com

_{Image © Tanya McConnell.}

"My biggest hope in life is that I'm able to affect at least one person's life as much as they affected mine."

-KenKacz2 on gay role models.

Even if you don't drive, I'm sure you've noticed the significant increase in fuel costs. I sure have. Everything, from shipping costs to gas prices to the cost of contact lenses (as my optometrist recently informed me) has increased in price due to the higher cost of energy. There are plenty of I-told-you-so's to go around, but what are we going to do about it now that we've arrived at an energy meltdown? Are renewable the answer? Here are some of the Gay Life reader comments on our energy crisis:

• "As for stating that food prices are going up because we are using corn and other food prices to manufacture ethanol is false. The corn grown for fuel is not for human consumption and besides what is best for our Midwestern farmers who will benefit from the desire for Americans to become indepenedent of foreign oil?"


• "Unfortunately, most of those so called breakthroughs are a bunch of hot air to get capital investment. I'm don't know about this particular case. I'm a geek who enjoys any advance in technology, but there have been too many times where I've had my hopes rise only to have them dashed when the technology doesn't pan out."


• "I think renewable energy is great. I don't like the idea of using food for fuel. It's causing food prices to sky rocket. What about using nuclear like France, Japan and and a lot of Europe? "

Your Thoughts:
Give us your thoughts on renewable energy.

Your Contributions:
Ways Gay Men Can "Go Green"

Buy:
An Inconvenient Truth (Book)
An Inconvenient Truth (DVD)

So, he wore a checkered shirt and polka dot pants to your family's bar-b-que? Your man's bad style isn't his fault. He probably doesn't know any better. Save your boyfriend from fashion folly by helping him upgrade his clothes and appearance.

More Style Tips:
Gay Fashion on a Budget
Best T-shirts and Underwear for Men
Men's Watch Guide

Discussion: "How can I get my boyfriend to improve his appearance without seeming like a jerk? I mean, I'm not all about looks and appearances, no, but I think he could put a little effort into his look... read more"

_{Image © Jake Levin.}

John's pure bred blue merle collie, Willow is 6 years old in this photo. A few years ago Willow adopted a wild rabbit that wandered into John's yard. They became best friends for two years until the bunny disappeared one day.

Gay Men and Their Pets:
Browse the pet gallery
Submit your pic

_{Image © John Swinderman.}

Scientists may have explained why gay men and straight women are often best friends—they share the same brain shapes in areas that control emotion, mood and anxiety. Researchers believe these brain functions may be the sum of attraction. The think tanks are unsure if the similar brain shapes are inherited or due to exposure to hormones such as testosterone in the womb. Oddly enough, lesbians and straight men also have the similar brain symmetry.

The study by Sweden's Karolinska Institute adds to the wide open nature versus nurture debate. Although many believe that being gay is a combination of genetics and environment, no study has been conclusive enough to explain the origin of sexuality.

Authors of the brain study wrote, "These observations motivate more extensive investigations of larger study groups and prompt for a better understanding of the neurobiology of homosexuality."

Related Story: Gaydar Mystery Solved?
Debate: Born or Made Gay?
Discussion: "I know no one knows for sure and scientific studies indicate that 50% of scientists think that we are born gay, while the other 50% think that its a choice. I don't know the answer...but all I know is I didn't choose to be gay..." read more

_{Image © Aaron Balogh.}

March on! The British Ministry of Defense has announced that gay officers from all three wings of their armed forces (Army, Royal Air Force and Royal Navy) can wear their uniforms in the London pride parade.

"The Armed Forces are committed to establishing a culture and climate where every individual's contribution is respected and valued regardless of sexual orientation, race, ethnic origin, religion, gender or social background," a Ministry of Defense spokesperson told The Press Association.

Gays in the Military Around the World:
Repealing DADT Saves Millions, Increases Troops
British Navy Allows Gays
Thai Military Lifts Ban on Transgender Soldiers

_{Image © Tom Dulat/Getty Images.}

Dear Mona,

I am a 19 (going on 20) year old guy who has never been in a relationship, never been kissed, and never had sex that's more than a one night stand. I want so bad to be in a relationship, just to feel that feeling that you know you have some one that loves and cares for you no matter what. The feeling that if all you want to do tonight is hold that other person in your arms, they would embrace you.

I have come close to a relationship once but I was told that I was moving too fast! My response was, "I have never been with another person like this, so how am I going to know if I am going to fast if you never told me?!"

Mona: You're probably too young to remember the Warner Bros. cartoon Animaniacs. My favorite character, the comically obsessive Elmyra, loved and adored animals. So much so that they cringed at her suffocating embrace and overbearing attentiveness. Her intentions were good—she loved them—but her approach in the beginning was way too much to handle. She got so excited at the sight of her companions that she would squeeze the breathe out of each one until they retreated. She never gave them a chance to love her back. She never allowed a mutual relationship to build. I'm all about expressing feelings, but you have to filter them a little in the beginning... read more

_{Image © Gavin Wood.}