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Ramon Johnson

Gay Rape

By December 30, 2006

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Rape is a terrible act. The victims are left physically and emotionally scarred. Loved ones of the survivors are also left with emotional scars and often don't know how to discuss the sensitive topic.

Interestingly enough, when most people talk about rape, they assume the victim is a female and the assailant a male. However, according to the U.S. Justice Department one in 33 men in the United States has been a victim of a rape or attempted rape, compared with one in six women. Some of those male rape survivors are gay. Unfortunately, due to stigmas associated with male rape victims and the issue of sexuality, many gay rapes go unreported.

This breakdown of gay rape lists the myths associated with gay rape victims, the definition of rape, a guide to determine if you've been a victim and a step-by-step on how to get help.

Forum Debate:

Can men really be raped?
"I have heard of male rape in England but I cannot believe it actually happens. English papers that I have read say it's almost an epidemic but I still find it hard to believe any adult man could be raped, it just doesn't happen and if it happens, it doesn't happen here in Canada..." (read more)
Of course they can...
"Why can't a male with a gun or knife rape another man? Or a large athletic type rapes a smaller man? I know it happens in jail. I suspect it happens with gay men more than is reported. Probably in the date rape context with alcohol and drugs involved the way it happens with women. But these appear to be straight men with no connection..." (read more)
Gay Abuse and Violence:
Gay Domestic Violence
Gay Hate Crime Statistics
June 28, 2007 at 3:36 pm
(1) Nicki says:

I’m not sure that the rape of a man by a man should be called ‘gay rape’, in that it’s not necessarily a ‘gay’ act. Rape is often more about violence than sex. Surveys show that male rape is more likely to involve a ‘heterosexua’l man raping a ‘homosexual’ man than vice versa (or indeed a homosexual man raping a homosexual man). Anyway, I just wanted to point that out!

May 21, 2008 at 11:47 am
(2) Dennis says:

Gay rape does exist in the US. I am straight and was raped by four men at once. I am a small framed man and I do have a high pitch voice but I am not gay at all. The rapists perceived me to be gay and had their way with me on a walking trail one evening. It was in the twilight hours when it happened. The time of evening I used to prefer walking. They appeared out of nowhere and started up a conversation with me. Talking about male/male sex and if I ever experienced it. I said NO in a nice way of course as to not offend them (I figured them to be Gay). It was then the conversation turned in a different direction. I went into depression (suicidal) after that and honestly thought I was gay. After many months I even tried a sexual relationship with another man that lasted for a few months just to explore the possibilitiy of it being true and to identify myself. This man (partner) was a very kind and caring person who put me first, but I never enjoyed the sex either giving or receiving that much. I guess I was what is called a bottom in our male relationship. I did grow to love this man very much as a friend. I have now realized I am heterosexual 100% and have a loving and caring wife with a child on the way to prove it. I never saw those men again and had never seen them before that. I just kept quiet and didn’t say anything at the time. My wife knows and so do a very few other including my gay male friend who is still my best friend today. So rape between men is very real and very damaging! Do not think it doesn’t happen and that it is not enjoyed by the perpertrator(s).

July 9, 2008 at 4:31 pm
(3) Matt says:

At 5:13 this morning, my significant other (we have been together for nine years) told me that last summer he was raped by a man who was supposed to be a friend. I am really confused right now and dont know what to do. I also have been questioning our relationship and why it took him a over a year to tell me. Any advice, support,etc would be very much appreciated. You can email me at YEAHAYEKNO@aol.com

August 9, 2008 at 7:46 pm
(4) Jo says:

To Dennis,

I’m not a psychiatrist, but it sounds like you may be a little confused. I’m sorry for what you went through and glad that you’ve gotten your life together. It just seems odd that you say you’re straight but had to prove it to yourself by having a ‘gay’ relationship for a few months even though you didn’t enjoy it. Why put yourself through that if it wasn’t what you wanted? Also, you say you’re 100% hetero just because you have a wife and child on the way. News flash – gay men can and have married and had children. That in no way guarantees a person’s sexuality. You may be straight, gay or bisexual. I think there’s something deeper going on with you. I really think that rape victims especially male victims should get some type of professional counseling to help them heal emotionally from such a traumatic event. I think there should be more public awareness of male rape victims.

September 9, 2008 at 1:40 am
(5) bill says:

to the last comment……..
it is very confusing. it is not as basic as the man above chose to explain it.

i was raped in the military, by my supervisor.
that was almost 20 years ago……i still have serious problems…….
it’s a complete mind****. dont you judge what you don’t understand or have n ot experienced.
i understand you could not possibly identify, but please, don’t be hasty

November 16, 2008 at 8:28 pm
(6) Scott says:

Im not sure but i think i have recently been abused but remember very little. im scared of going to speak to someone though.

July 3, 2009 at 10:46 am
(7) tom says:

gay rape is damaging of course…but men who rape another man are maybe sick of pussy…u never know..

also body building are the lead coursed of it..because men whom part take in this activities tend to love they bodies so much that they complete amongest man. it reach a state whereas the mind is ful of man staff…and lookin at a woman has no effect at all..

So, this is a minor part and if a gay man reaches out to this bodybuilting types of man maybe in situation of alcohol..they can rape other man for fun..but if a straght attractive man is close by n u will never know what inter-chemistry it can have; which leads to gay rape.

December 30, 2009 at 1:16 am
(8) Ray says:

Once long ago when I was about ten years old, I experienced a physical molestation by a male teenager. Ever since then I have had homosexual cravings that involve a desire for a repeat of that experience. I am not sure if I am Gay because of that experience. Or if I just naturally have gay feelings. I have also felt guilt ever since then because I was powerless to stop him. Besides I felt worthless after the experience because I felt He tossed me away like a dirty rag when he was done. This is my rape-like experience.

January 11, 2010 at 2:07 pm
(9) Russ says:

“I am heterosexual 100% and have a loving and caring wife with a child on the way to prove it.” Dennis, I am very happy that you have started a family! However, Jo is very correct. This phrase isn’t (I am soooo sorry for using this term!) politically correct. Wives and children are in no way proof of heterosexuality. Children aren’t even proof of a heterosexual act- in vitro, etc. You yourself are the proof of heterosexuality.

May 21, 2011 at 6:33 pm
(10) Matthew Travis says:

You can’t choose your sexuality: If you have a penis your supposed to be with a woman and the other way around. It’s impossible to be gay naturally.

September 14, 2011 at 8:11 pm
(11) Samual says:

Being gay can be totally natural. Don’t be a homophobe.

December 12, 2011 at 5:04 am
(12) Gary says:

Well I am a 100% homosexual and this kinda stuff really is sickening. Yes it does happen and yes it is for all the wrong reasons.

I don’t agree or condone what rapists do or think.

I have meet so many lovely people over the years straight or gay that have been rape victims and it is truly amazing to see that it happens to anyone.

All I can clearly state is what has been said before of you are a rape victim don’t let it sit and do nothing about it. Re ever how you felt when it was happening/happened do you want that feeling to be passed to someone else? I don’t think I could forgive myself if I let some other person feel what it was I felt. Granted you may not be able to stop them but giving as much information to the right people can.

It starts with a single voice and grows.

Oh and to comment (10) Matthew Travis.

You do not choose wether or not to be gay, straight, bisexual, transgender it is something that you are born with.

If you have a penis or a vagina it makes no difference to whom you love with it you are you and at the end of the day is it not better to be in a world where people can love freely rather than be hurt, victimised or worse.

Being a homophobic person in the 21st century is showing your not willing to grow and mature with the times.

If anyone thinks that I might be wrong then let me no please I don’t like to think that I no everything but I don’t like to be incorrect either :-)

December 26, 2012 at 12:19 am
(13) sunny says:

I am 55 years old. I was brutally raped at 17. My body is still thunder whenever I am touched by anyone.I was drugged and raped by two men. At 60, I want to live a peaceful life. At work the sexism is daily flashback to when I was a victim. I don’t know if victimful is a word, but my life is at times empty.

February 5, 2013 at 4:36 pm
(14) kathy says:

seems that people think if a man rapes a man, the rapist is gay. is this true? I mean the priests that rape boys are they? or the fathers who rape their own son is not gay is he?

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