How Do I Know If He's 'The One'?

Do we ever truly find "The One"? We make strong connections and fall in love or deep like, but is the notion of that perfect person a reality or just a myth? Many gay men pass up good relationships in search of the gay holy grail, also known as the perfect man.

TJ, a Gay Life Forum member gets some great advice from a fellow forum buddy:

How do you know when you meet the one... The one person who you want to spend your life with and feels the same about you?

Here's Tony's response:

First you need to get rid of the notion of "The One". That implies that there is one right person out there that destiny has supplied and you have to find him. There are many, many people out there that could be a good match that you could love and be happy with. When you keep the idea of "The One" then you are always searching in case the one you end up with isn't that "One". But the truth is that who ever you end up with is who you end up with, and they are "The One" for only one reason, you chose them.

So how do you know who is "The One"?

When you look at them and say, "I want this to be serious and I am willing to work to make it last." That is what it comes down to. Not destiny, or fate, or luck, or having some feeling overwhelm you. It is your decision. "The One" is the one you decide is "The One". There is nothing more to it than that.

What you need to figure out is what you are looking for. What kind of person do you want? You have to be realistic, but you also need to know what is absolutely important to you. You find the people that have the qualities you like and you go with the one you want the most. (Join the discussion)

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_{Image © Tory Byrne.}