Traveling with Baggage in Relationships

We all have relationship baggage, but how much is too much? Can we continue on a relationship crash course without emptying the excess issues we carry on our backs?

Mona, Help!

I know that my boyfriend is the one for me, even though my relationship is fairly new. He makes me laugh. He makes me smile and when I am in his arms I feel like my life is complete. The problem is that in his eyes he doesn't see it. He doesn't see how strongly I feel for him and he fears that he is setting himself up for heartbreak. I have tried explaining to him how strongly I feel, but he just doesn't seem to see it. We have both come out of previous relationships with major heartache. He has been left feeling cynical towards relationships, and I fear, he may be looking for problems that he can find early so he can get out.

I have been left with the fear, I think, of really opening up to him. I need help, because I don't know if I could handle loosing him, especially if he feels that I don't love him, when in fact that's all I think about...

-M

Dear M,

There's a reason airlines only allow passengers two pieces of luggage: If everyone brought all of their baggage on board, the plane would take a nose dive. The same is true with relationships. You two may be in a relationship, but neither of you may be ready for a relationship. So many of us are in love with being in love and ignore the practical aspects of compatibility. There is also a tendency to let past experiences get in the way of our present happiness... more

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