Should You Tell Him You Love Him?
Wednesday November 12, 2008
Dear Mona,
I'm a 22-year-old gay guy in my first real relationship. My boyfriend and I have been together for just over 4 months. We see each other 2-3 times a week because of work and other scheduling conflicts. I have known that I was in love with him for the past two months, but am terrified that If I say it too prematurely the relationship could take a nosedive. He is very stoic, and I am very open.
He is supposed to go on a ten week business trip to another state. When I told him it would be hard to be apart for so long, he invited me to go with him! So, I guess my main question is: How can you ask someone to embark on a two and a half month trip, far away from my friends and family, without even expressing love? Am I reading to much into it, or am I expecting too much? Please help.
-R
Dear Sisterhood of The Traveling Pants,
Just because your new man is stoic doesn't mean he feels no emotion. He just doesn't express them as readily. I've found in my romantic years that the less expressive guys often think first, then act. Whereas, us open guys feel first then see how things play out. If he's asked you to join him on his business trip, then odds are he's thought it through and would really like you to be with him. Does he love you? I don't know; only he can say. Does he care a lot about you or at the very least want to get to know you better? You bet... read more
Image © Marion Tran Van Huu.
Comments
So the question is, “Am I asking too much?” Quick answer: No. You’re not asking to much, but on the other hand, we have to consider that fact that sometimes it is those little things to one person that are often big things to others.
I would say, take your man’s kind gesture of offering you to go on that trip as a statement somewhat like “I love you.” I’m sure he’s just not ready to take it “there” just right now. Mr. Lockjaw may be a little stingy with his words, but it’s clear to me that his heart is wide open to you.
Most of all, carefully consider what is being asked of you. The trip is 10 weeks long! Don’t mean to scare you here, BUT I just want you to be careful. If you’ll need to put your life on hold to accommodate his 10-week long companionship, DON’T GO. Instead, explore the other option of visiting him while he’s away on this assignment.
When it comes to love, I know that everything turns upside down, and we don’t know left from right. However, when true love comes along, you just feel like everything you’re doing–no matter how scary it may seem–is the right thing to do. Do you feel that???