You see, EHarmony's founder, Neil Clark Warren, isn't keen on including the L,G,B,T in his scientific interpretation of L-O-V-E. As a result, the dating mega mall refused to include same-sex as an option in its compatibility formulas. An effective way of keeping us man and woman lovers off of the wholesome pastures. Warren spun his story as to why the gays could never walk hand-in-hand on the eHarmony commercials:
"It's what I did for 40 years," 74-year-old Warren, who is retired but remains on the board, told the LA Times. "I never had a gay couple."
Well, Mr. Warren, apparently you've never had a math course either. Since there is no option to choose a desire for the same sex, zero gays can sign up for the site. And since zero gays can create profiles, no gay singles have ever been matched on eHarmony. Therefore, there was no quantitative reason for eHarmony to add a same-sex option. Zero plus zero equals no gays at all. (Or, at least none eHarmony knows about.)
So, why the kind gesture of a gay site of our own now? The marriage isn't quite one of harmony. Last November, eHarmony agreed to start a gay dating service as part of a settlement with the New Jersey attorney general under the threat of a discrimination lawsuit. The brainchild: Compatible Partners.
Thanks, but no thanks, eHarmony. If you're going to push this game called love, then love everyone.
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