The Non-Boyfriend Boyfriend

We've all met him. He's cute, smart, funny with a smile or a smell or a groove or an anything that makes you crazy. He seems to dig on you, too. So much so that you go to movies and parties and the park together. You're each others' instant plus ones whenever the occasion arises. He knows your Netflix queue, you've learned the lyrics to his favorite song. All of your free time is his and his yours.

It's just you and him unless you're traveling to an event together. His friends like you. Your friends frequently ask to be filled in on the status of your relationship. But, alas, there is nothing to report. Is it a platonic friendship, which can exist even when intimacy is involved? Are you best friends forever? Is he the romantic possibility you've been waiting for? Or, is it too soon to tell?

This non-boyfriend boyfriend can yield some very good times, but is he in the best interest of your love life?

That all depends on what you're hoping to get out the situation. If you can see yourself being with this person romantically, especially since the friends-first test is holding true, then let the relationship, in its loose definition, ride.

It's not uncommon for us gays to possess a warped sense of time when it comes to love and relationships. Weeks feel like months and years like lifetimes. So, the temptation to control any impending rejection, if any, by asking where you stand in the friendship is great. After all, you're getting along, why can't you make it official? But, pump the breaks.

In situations like these, you may want to take a step back from the labels and just enjoy the ride. There have been many of lovers made out of the greatest of friends. Set your own personal limits and expectations, though. You don't want to find yourself madly in like while he's madly distracted. Manage the possibility of this one-sided scenario by keeping time open to yourself—exploring the people and activities in your own life. You can do this and still cherish your time with him. Focus on the good times you have together instead of ringing wedding bells in the ceremony of the unknown. Eventually time will play its' tune and you'll know if it's a love song or just a shared favorite between good friends.

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