I'm on of those starry-eyed guys. Some would call me a dreamer. Despite my eagerness to grumble about the world on its rear end, deep down I believe that there is a place of happiness for all of us if we can just get over that one thing I've grown to hate most: labels.
It's easier to use them to describe groups of people or individuals. The problem with generals, however, is that the majority usually wins. What I mean is, when enough people label us as gay men, for instance, as this or that it becomes our living stereotype.
Don't believe me? Go ask your mom or 10-year-old niece to draw a picture of a gay man and see what they come up with. Similarly, we paint pictures of ourselves, especially when it comes to what we look for in other men.
Raise your hand if you've spent most of your gay dating time with a fuzzy picture of what you want in a man? What about what kind of man you are or want to be? OK, everyone except that two guys in the corner put your hands down.
Frequent trips to LOGO, online, the bar or gym would make us think there is only one type of guy all gay men want. Yes, you know him. He's our Wheaties box standard of gorgeous, fit, perfect against which we gauge ourselves. We tell ourselves we can't date him. The media tells us we can't live without him. But do we really want him? And if so, who is he exactly?
Let's clear this up. As the year closes, I'm going screen-to-screen asking you what you like in other guys. I'm talking about inside, outside and all around to come up with a list of what gay men want in other men. The first survey up, the Character poll. Now's your chance to tell the world what you want's important to you!
Next: The Body Survey
It's easier to use them to describe groups of people or individuals. The problem with generals, however, is that the majority usually wins. What I mean is, when enough people label us as gay men, for instance, as this or that it becomes our living stereotype.
Don't believe me? Go ask your mom or 10-year-old niece to draw a picture of a gay man and see what they come up with. Similarly, we paint pictures of ourselves, especially when it comes to what we look for in other men.
Raise your hand if you've spent most of your gay dating time with a fuzzy picture of what you want in a man? What about what kind of man you are or want to be? OK, everyone except that two guys in the corner put your hands down.
Frequent trips to LOGO, online, the bar or gym would make us think there is only one type of guy all gay men want. Yes, you know him. He's our Wheaties box standard of gorgeous, fit, perfect against which we gauge ourselves. We tell ourselves we can't date him. The media tells us we can't live without him. But do we really want him? And if so, who is he exactly?
Let's clear this up. As the year closes, I'm going screen-to-screen asking you what you like in other guys. I'm talking about inside, outside and all around to come up with a list of what gay men want in other men. The first survey up, the Character poll. Now's your chance to tell the world what you want's important to you!
Next: The Body Survey
You left out one character trait from the list. A trait that for me is
so important, you can diregard how ambitious he is, kind or anything else, even how much ‘he’ loves you. RESPECT !! The surveys are fun
and I am curious to see the results. But either during or after, spend time thinking about that word -respect- and what it means: to a couple, within a family, a group, your community, and. . . beyond. If there is no respect how can we ever have understanding, acceptance, happiness, love, . . .Peace!
12-31,11.Because I am a quiet careing guy,age 70 now,I do tend to to stay by myself a lot,and I guess it is best for me to just stay alone.