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Ramon Johnson

What Men Want: The Sex Survey

By January 3, 2012

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Top or bottom doesn't say much about what we want in the bedroom. The words describe certain obvious activities, but they say little about desire.

Guy-on-guy sex isn't all about who's penetrating whom. We're men, so often that's the easiest way to define it. A top isn't always the most dominant position in bed. For some guys, bottoming is about dominance. Likewise on the flip side.

There are levels of intimacy we desire but few talk about. A guy who likes to top and cuddle or a bottom with little interest in their partner's satisfaction isn't exactly on the most wanted list. It doesn't mean, however, that they don't exist or that they aren't the silent majority.

Few of us are inclined to say what we really want in public, perhaps for fear of turning off a potential partner. But, now's your chance to take the Sex Survey and share your desires.
January 4, 2012 at 10:33 am
(1) George says:

Ramon, I found out early in my gay exploration (I’m a latecomer) that I absolutely loved being a bottom. I found just the right man to make amazing love to me anally, and it was awesome.
He moved away, and I never found another man to satisfy me in that fashion.
Now, in the last few years I began seeing a wonderful man. We love each other dearly, and our sex life is great. We are both bottoms, however, and anal sex is not something that we do. I feel the ache for an erect penis in my anus, and I think the time may have come when we discuss this. Perhaps we could take turns. I wonder if other bottoms who find bottoms experience this and how they deal with it.

January 4, 2012 at 11:26 am
(2) george taylor says:

well my partners ok about it but i feel low,never had an errection for 2 months now,can you suggest anything. im 62 male over weight.honestly ive tried over xmas every day to get any errection and honestly my penis doesnt seem intrested.

January 4, 2012 at 6:33 pm
(3) James Butler says:

Hi George. Two bottoms are like 2 left shoes. As a bottom myself, I have found over the years that even if 2 bottoms share a strong physical attraction initially, evenutally the incompatability will become an issue. You should discuss your need with your partner. Chances are, he wants the same thing. If you both are open to it, perhaps you could bring in a top who is willing to service you both! Good luck!

February 8, 2013 at 1:17 pm
(4) Jess says:

Ive always been pretty much of a bottom. My boyfriend had always been a bottom as well. Most of the time he tops me, but on occasion I top him also. In regards to the erection, confidence is everything. Be careful to not get frustrated when things dont work out the way you’d like and have your partner encourage you. Having a partner make you feel that you are all he wants is a big help. it is also helpful to not use sex toys during these times because they can often unknowingly hurt your confidence and therefore prevent erection.

February 24, 2013 at 9:02 am
(5) john says:

I had my first experience when I was 36 always been attracted to men I enjoy being a bottom more than a top I want my lover to take control in bed I live to give pleasure I am in a relationship he care for me so much and,i take care of him sexually and emotionaly Inever thought I would fall in love again. I just came out to my children they are so supportive they like my bf he

February 24, 2013 at 9:02 am
(6) john says:

I had my first experience when I was 36 always been attracted to men I enjoy being a bottom more than a top I want my lover to take control in bed I live to give pleasure I am in a relationship he care for me so much and,i take care of him sexually and emotionaly Inever thought I would fall in love again. I just came out to my children they are so supportive they like my bf .

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February 28, 2013 at 6:37 am
(8) Revato says:

I prefer as a bottom.. Is there any men would like to making love with me? Please find out my Facebook at Andrian Revato


March 2, 2013 at 12:02 am
(9) lauren says:

I haven’t had anal sex in quite a long time,and I have also had the deep yearning to be a bottom,and a good one which I know I am.I would love some other comment on the perfect bottom!!!

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To #2 George Taylor, heart disease can reduce potency, as also can various medications. Loss of potency can be considered a warning sign.

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I ABSOLUTELY HATE this about the gay community! The top and bottom gender roles that we love to perform stems from the relationship dynamics of heterosexuals. Why do we always feel that this is the only way to exist as two persons of the same sex? It saddens me that this culture is full of assimilation. smh

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I have been mostly a top, but not objected to bottoming if the guy’s penis isn’t bent. However I have had only one orgasm as a bottom–but it was wonderful! I have been carrying on a long-distance romance with a man who would also like for us to alternate roles. We have been extremely open with one another, which lays the groundwork for a solid relationship when he gets here (soon!). I have never thought seriously about marrying a man, but the quality of our communication makes me think it may happen with this one, regardless of whether we are able to switch roles.

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