| Ask Zaida -"The Love Goddess" |
| Looking for Confirmation |
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Dear Zaida,
My boyfriend and I have been together for 5
years. We've lived together for about 3 of them. A few months ago, I asked him
where our relationship stood and he said he didn't know. After that, when I
talked to him about moving out, he didn't say anything to convince me to stay.
Now it's been a little over a month. Should I give up on us or let him show me
how he feels? I love him with all my heart and want this to work out, but should
I leave him alone?
-Elisha
| Dear Looking for Confirmation, It is very common in long term relationships to reach a point where you need affirmation of your loved one's feelings. This is a sign that you are feeling that he either a) feels for you as you do for him, but does not express it as frequently as you would like him to or b) lately, his feeling have not been as strong as yours. It's ultimately a test of which scenario you are truly dealing with. Either way, you should talk it out and see how he really feels. If you decide to see if you can continue together, you may have to have more confidence in his feelings for you. Sometimes our loved ones are less expressive, but that doesn't mean the feelings aren't there. Maybe the time apart has given him time to reflect on how much he cares for you. Be prepared to accept that he may be ready to move on. If so, don't fall into the common trap of feeling that those years together were wasted. It could be that after the years you've spent together, it isn't working. If that's the case, you should see the time you spent together as a growth experience, which has prepared you for your future relationships. There is always potential for new and better romance. -Zaida |
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