| Ask Zaida -"The Love Goddess" |
| Three's a Crowd |
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Dear Zaida,
I'm a 22 year old gay male, my boyfriend is
a 20 year old. We have been together for almost 8 months now and things have
been going great. My boyfriend has only gone out with one other guy before me.
We recently had a huge fight over the fact that he regrets not having his "slutty"
stage. He says that he is willing to give it up for me, yet I know in his head
he wants to have experiences with other guys. He says he doesn't want to lose me
and I don't want to lose him... So I thought a way he could get this desire out
of your system is by us having a threesome. That way he can have an experience
with someone different without cheating on me. Do you think this is a good idea?
Do you think we should wait longer to do it, until things between us are more
solid?... I was often told that threesomes ruin relationships...
-Lost
| Dear Three's a Crowd, It may be a seductive idea, but these multiple partner relationships usually end up with someone's feelings seriously hurt. Any one of the three of you is bound to end up jealous and feel emotionally neglected. Although there are many proponents of the threesome, I have yet to see a long term threesome that is successful. All parties involved may end up feeling resentment and may find it difficult to express, in fear of becoming the 'jealous bitch' in the whole scenario. Don't get me wrong, threesome's have their place in the realm of the kinky affair, but if your goal is to make your relationship work, a threesome is not the best way to go. As an alternative, you may want to consider taking a hiatus from the relationship and see if he decides the grass was greener in his own back-yard in the first place. This is easier said than done - a temporary separation could be difficult to stomach. However, a threesome would be incredibly more emotionally complicated. -Zaida |
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