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What You Thought You Knew About Gay Men

(And Other Myths)

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All gay men will die of AIDS? Gay men love have anal sex? It's just a phase, right? We know gay men. We've seen or heard it all before. But, it couldn't be further from the truth. Here's what you thought you knew about gay men, but were all wrong about:
  • It's Just a Phase
    Many people believe that being gay or bisexual is just a phase. This is a large misconception. Thousands of gay men have sought therapy, "reverse gay counseling" and even heterosexual relationships to suppress their homosexual feelings. Most of these attempts at living a heterosexual lifestyle only further suppress homosexual feelings. These feelings can later surface, sometimes leading to divorce, custody battles or adultery.


  • All Gay Men Like Anal Sex
    Despite the common myth, not all gay men enjoy anal sex. There are many ways men can be intimate with one another without having anal sex. Two very common ways are intercrural sex and frottage. Both of these types of non-penetrative sex can be used as foreplay or for complete intimacy.


  • All Gay Men Will Die of AIDS
    Many rumors about AIDS still linger from the 80's. Those misconceptions were based on a lack of understanding and fear. Though the source of the deadly disease hasn't been traced to it's root, AIDS is not just a gay disease. Learn the facts about AIDS and talk with your loved one about how they can practice safer sex. It may be uncomfortable at first but is worth the effort in the long run.


  • Gay Men Are Only Concerned With Sex
    Often, people associate gay men with sexual addiction. However, the majority of gay individuals are no more sexually active than heterosexuals. Many gay men visit bars, clubs or the internet in an effort to find sexual partners, however just as many seek long term relationships in the same places.


  • All Gay Men Are Feminine
    Unfortunately, many media outlets portray gay men as overly effeminate. As with the mannerisms of heterosexuals, the degree of masculinity varies amongst homosexuals. The belief that all gay men desire to be women or are feminine is merely a generalization. Those within the gay community are just as diverse as any other group.


  • Someone Made Him Gay
    Studies have shown that being gay is not directly related to one's environment. For instance, many mothers in retrospect regret being too close to their sons, thinking that is what "made" them gay. However, their relationship with their child had little to do with them being gay. Homosexuals are born, not made. Research continues in an effort to find the source of homosexuality, but blaming oneself or environment is not the answer.


  • Gay Men Can't Get Married or Have Children
    One of the biggest fears for many families is that their gay loved ones are condemned to a life of solitude. However, the battle for same sex marriage continues throughout the world. Countries such as Iceland, Spain, Belgium, Canada and France already recognize civil unions or full gay marriage. In the U.S. support for same sex marriage continues to gain with legalized marriages. What does this mean for your loved one? Well, it means that there are many gay couples that are in committed and happy relationships. These relationships are often long lasting and sometimes involve adopted or naturally born children.
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