Soledad O'Brien on 'Gay in America'

[in 'Black in America' Three, there's a] woman who is very much angry at the two lesbians who are trying to get married at her baptist church and sued her church to get her money back from tithing. This is a woman who integrated lunch counters in Florida. And, she says, you know what? Their civil rights is not my civil rights. She sees no connection at all. For me, I literally see a lot of the same phrases used that were used when people were arguing against my parents being married. Same phrases used to keep women out of the military. I find it incredibly interesting. I see a connection between black civil rights and gay civil rights, mostly in the phraseology. It's mostly, often, word-for-word. And there are people who are far more connected to the movement than I am.

RJ: You're a mom and you spent months witnessing one mother give up an egg, another mother have a child and only spend a couple of hours with him. Was that difficult?

SO: No, you know, she spent a couple of hours at his birth, but she's been out to visit him. She's clearly very connected to that little boy. It's funny because at the beginning of the interview she was sort of like, listen, I'm basically the grocery bag that's going to carry it around [laughs] and by the end she is so connected to the baby and clearly wants to be part of their lives.

She worries about her grandmother knowing she still has a relationship with this gay couple. She likes them. She loves the boy. They are her friends. This was a business transaction. She was a funny and likable person. For me, it was also an opportunity to show how hard it was on the surrogate to give up a baby. That's a big part of her motivation was to show wow, I didn't think being a surrogate was so hard and the fact that it's her last child... She can't have anymore kids. That was a real challenge for her.

But, I think a lot of people have expectations about Cindy. Here she is driving her version of a Harley and covered in tattoos. I met people who go to the screenings and later say, you know, I just learned so much about her. I loved her as a character. She was very different than you might've predicted. Isn't that an interesting lesson? As a parent, I love telling stories about people and children. Sometimes some of the stories are really awful sad stories and I think it's hard for someone to turn over a baby who they clearly love, but never thought they'd get connected to. And then I think it's also wonderful because babies have a way of bringing people together.

RJ: One of the surrogate's lines that struck me was when she said she felt like an outsider looking in. That's the experience of most gay people. That can also apply to immigrants, African-Americans, Hispanics...

SO: Yes, that is such an interesting line. When you're pregnant, you have all of these hopes and dreams for this baby who's growing inside of you and she was sort of like: I'm just the vessel to carry this baby. Sort of this disconnection. That's another one of the phrases that keep popping up in these documentaries. When black people say, I looked into Little Rock Central High School and thought maybe one day I can go there. I thought, well, maybe I can come to America. I think in some ways maybe she agreed to talk to us because her experience was so unusual that it also felt like she was doing something that was off the beaten path. For me, that's the definition of 'In America': stories that everybody's not chasing. I don't bump into other people doing my stories. We just follow people very intimately.

RJ: What was your biggest surprise?

SO: The biggest surprise was the money. I had no idea surrogacy was so expensive. That was stunning to me. $160,000 towards the end. For some people, I think the biggest surprise might be that, again, if you look at phrases that are said. When they see their baby, these two guys say, literally word-for-word, exactly what my husband said when he saw our baby for the first time. That is the power of parenthood. It's completely transforming. It makes you all of sudden want to be this amazing person because look who's just entered your life? People who watch the screenings and people who'll watch the show will say the same thing. However it came, now you're a parent and there's something very connective about that.

Soledad O'Brien's 'Gary and Tony Have a Baby' airs June 24 (8pm ET) on CNN.