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Cuckolding

A Spicy Fetish Mix Or A Recipe For Disaster?

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Cuckolding, depending on where your mind gravitates, sounds like some niche European sport, a crafted culinary technique or some strangle hold in a mixed martial arts match. The act of cuckolding is but a fetish, although I hate the use of the word "fetish" as it implies something wrong and dirty. A cuckold is a man in a committed relationship that enjoys watching his partner have sex with other men.

Most of the information and articles in webland discuss cuckolding in a heterosexual context: The swinger couple looking to spice up their film footage. Cuckolding is even mentioned in Geoffrey Chaucer's The Canterbury Tales. However, what's good for the goose is good for the gay. And as with any other fetish (ah, there's that word again), it's near impossible to quantify how many gays are into cuckolding, but the preference is in no way hetero-exclusive.

"I'm a 20 year old gay male and I've recently figured out that my fetish has a name! I'm into cuckolding," says an About.com Gay Life reader. "I have had three bf's in my life and I've fantasized about all of them cheating on me. Just the thought of them having sex with another guy is so erotic!"

Is his newly identified sexual need rooted in eroticism or is it a manifestation of a deeper psychological issue?

I asked our reader if his desire to have his partner cheat has anything to do with any subconscious feelings of insecurity or anxiety about monogamy? Could he be afraid that his partner will cheat on him anyway, so instead of bearing the anxiety that it may happen behind his back, he encourages his beau to cheat out in the open? That way, at least he has some control over what he sees as impending infidelity.

Not a far fetched theory. Some, like Nerve.com writer Kai Ma point out possible psychological fear-based undertones behind the straight man's need to cuck:

"While watching another man have sex with his female partner, a cuck also negotiates a homoerotic encounter in a way that feels less threatening to his heterosexual identity. A cuck with latent bisexual or gay tendencies may be unwilling to have sex with a man, but can concede to watching his woman in the act and vicariously experience it through her. If he decides to perform oral sex on a bull [a cuck], it's spun as an act meant to please his female partner. The presence of a conduit — the wife or girlfriend — helps to contain his desires within a safer scope of bi-curious sexuality."

Despite speculation, the basis of cuckolding could be another ring in the growing tree of more "fluid" sexuality or it could cripple a sexual relationship. "I have other fetishes too... all that dirty, nasty stuff!" admits our young Gay Life reader. "I'm [just] not sure if it's possible to get to the point where the thought of my [boyfriend] having sex with another man does not turn me on."

Fear or fantasy, cuckolding should be handled with caution–much like the introduction of open relationships or polyamory. Follow these precautions before you and your partner considering cuckolding.
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