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How To Flirt

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How To Flirt
© Justyna Kopecki
Flirting is more of an art than a science, and the techniques have definitely been upgraded from the traditional gay cruise. Anonymous nods aren't enough these days. Guys want the effort along with the interest. Here's how to flirt and get a guy's attention...

...when he's across the room:
  1. Make contact. Position yourself in front or near him, preferably where you can make eye contact. Not all guys like to be touched by strangers, so try and connect with his eyes first.

  2. Keep your glance. Once you've locked eyes, keep your glance for at least a few seconds. Remember, you're flirting not starring him down, so keep it playful.

  3. Drop the eyes. After you've locked eyes with him, gently move your glance elsewhere. Then, shift your eyes back to him, making contact again. Give a soft smile.

  4. Make a move. At this point he knows you're interested. If he's into you he'll either repeatedly connect with your glances, smile back or both. Time to make a move and seal the deal. This is often the hardest part for most guys.

  5. Seal the deal. He'll eventually tire of playing peek-a-boo, so don't miss your window to say hello.

    There are two ways you can seal the deal:

    (a) Use the "heat seeking" technique where you walk right up to him, introduce yourself and keep the conversation going, or

    (b) try the "hit and run" move, where you write your number down on a piece of paper, give it to him, tell him to go out with you, then walk away. I was eating dinner with friends once when a guy came up to the table, set a piece of paper in front of me and said, "You. Me. Dinner this weekend." I sat there stunned and he just walked away. Did I call? You bet, if only for the intrigue.

  6. Maintain your cool. The thing I love about the '70s is that the dudes were laid back and cool. "Smooth" is what my dad called it. They were able to be direct, get a point across and accomplish their love agendas all in a few seamless gestures. Perfect your inner roller girl cool by practicing these flirting techniques. Be smooth with your glances, your lookback, your approach and your follow up.

  7. Follow up. The hard part is over. He's intrigued, now all you have to do is follow up. If you say you're going to call, call. Keep your cool and wait at least a day before blowing his phone up.
...when he's walking toward you:
When a guy is walking toward you, use the steps above to flirt with him. But, instead of dropping your eyes, keep his glance until you pass him. Once this happens, do what I call the "double look back":
  1. Slow your walking pace and look back over your shoulder.
  2. Hold your look to see if he also glances back. If he does, you've got him.
  3. For those who want a little more assurance that he's interested, keep walking then glance again. If he responds with yet another lookback, then he's ready to talk.
  4. Slowly turn around and either stop or walk towards him.
  5. Once you are face to face, start your small talk.
Offense and "smooth cool" wins the game of flirting. You only have a few seconds to capture his attention and keep it, so make the most of it and don't forget to be smooth.

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