How To Meet Gay Men

The move was brilliant and carefully calculated. A man sat by himself studying at the bar of a bookstore coffee shop. Another man scoped him out several times while circling the magazine racks. The single studier (originally at the bar) saw an open table and proceeded to pick up his things to move. The onlooker saw this as an opportunity and moved in for the kill, like a fat rat running from the shadows on McDonald's trash day.

He slowed his pace as he approached, asking the first guy if he could help him move his things. The book nerd politely refused, but the onlooker wouldn't take no for an answer. He continued his flirtatious conversation and without offering again, moved a stack of papers to the new table for his new prospect. As the study guy sat at his new table, the onlooker delivered the papers, sat next to him and started a conversation.

Sound a bit forward? You bet it does, but this man's refusal to sit against the wall like the class nerd at a middle school dance led to an unexpected study date. What happened afterward, only these two can tell.

More often than not, we gay men leave our love lives up to fate- waiting to be approached. Take life by the magazine racks and get the man you want! The worst thing that can happen is a few rejections. And what are they compared to the potential for hot steamy love?

Here's how to go from a lusting lurker to a dating machine:

Get out and meet the people.

Gay men don't live in bars (well, most don't). There is queer opportunity in every place- if you're aware of your surroundings. Keep your eyes open for flirtatious looks, comments or gestures at the grocery store, laundry mat or book shop. Dating prospects are everywhere. Learn where to find gay love.

Look for opportunity.

Once you've identified your prospect, look for your window of opportunity. Need help fine tuning your preying skills? Watch a couple of hours of Discovery Channel and see how the patient tiger cruises the jungle before a kill.

In most cases (especially if alone), your prospect will do or say something that gives you the opportunity to strike up a conversation. Lurk in the frozen food aisle until he turns the corner. Then ask if frozen peas are better than canned. Or get in line behind him and laugh at the ridiculous magazine covers. Anything to get his attention and start a dialogue. I'm not suggesting you stalk the man or follow him home, only that you position yourself for optimal opportunity.

Keep the momentum going.

Most gay novices don't fail at the approach, it's the continuation of dialogue that throws them for a loop. If he laughs at a comment you make and then turns around, make another one. Keep the dialogue going. Don't lose the opportunity. If the tiger misses his target on the first strike, he doesn't just say "Oh, well." He continues the hunt until he gets what he wants. If the guy is truly not interested in you, he'll say something.

Close the deal.

When your window of opportunity closes, seal the deal by asking him for his phone number or out for coffee. If you feel comfortable, give him your number. Let him know that you're interested in talking to him further. As they say in sales, never be afraid to ask for the sale.

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