My Boyfriend Says He'll Go Straight For Me

Dear Gay Man:
My boyfriend and I have been going out for 4 years. He never wanted to kiss or do anything sexually. All my friends said he was gay and I never believed them. Recently he told me he was gay but that he wanted to stay together. He said he is going to change and become straight. So we can be together and live our lives. I want to know is it possible?

My Dear Dorothy:
Are you a lunatic? No, really, that's what the ad asked on the train this morning. Underneath the question it said, "The fun is back in Coney Island!". It went on to assure skeptical New Yorkers like me that if I traveled to the far reaches of Brooklyn to the new, revived, reinvented, renovated Luna Park Coney Island that I would find something other than what I'd seen before.

Sure there's new flash, brighter lights, a few new rides, but it's atop a whole lot of promises that I know in my ripeness that Luna can't keep.

A Lunatic? Not me, but them if they think I'll fall for the impossible. The fact is, new ferris wheel or not, Coney Island will always be Coney Island even if it rebrands itself as a new and improved Luna-land. And, I can be sure—as I suspect you are too—that the Luna of new or old doesn't have my kind of ride.

Yours,
Gay Man