Bisexual Dating

Is He Making It Up, Or Is The Guy He Wants To Date Bisexual Too?

Hey Ramon,

I'm a 19-year-old bisexual male and I'm very interested in the dudes at the moment. No one knows that I'm bi except a few close friends.

I'm interested in this guy. I don't know if I have been over analyzing what he's been doing or if he really is into me. Like me, he comes off as a straight guy. He hasn't had a girlfriend, is very hot, has long hair, etc...

Well anyway, I work in a food store and back when I was a cashier he would always stare at me over the registers or when he went home. Whenever it's just me and him in the back room of the store we are always smiling and he's always staring at me.

He could just be a friendly guy that doesn't care that I am into him; or he's not straight and he is into me too; or he is oblivious to the signals I have been giving him.

I have heard that he hasn't gotten a girlfriend because of all the drugs he does. I have also heard that he is a boob man.

He makes me very nervous... like extremely. He is the only one that has ever given me butterflies in my stomach. It's so complicated and I hate it. I've accepted the way that I am but sometimes I just wish I was straight so my life could be easier.

So Ramon, do you think that I'm just having a little high school girl crush on this dude and nothing is really going on or do you think this guy is giving me signals? I have been wanting to talk to my friend who is also his best friend but I don't want to take the chance of her telling him... She is closer to him than I am to her.

Thanks for taking your time to read this.
-Kevin

Hey Cashier Kev,

Good for you and your schoolgirl crush! That's one of the advantages of being bisexual. You never know who's going to tickle your Tommy. Could be him, could be her, could be both... yum!

My dear Kev, you obviously don't have many straight single girlfriends because if you did you'd know that being a straight single is no better than being a gay or bi one, which is why shows like Sex and The City and Noah's Arc and The L-Word are popular. They are all about relationships and our lack of success in them. The suckiness of dating does not discriminate.

Now, on to your checkout trauma. It sounds like you may have sparked a special feeling in this guy, like he has in you. Is he just flirting? Could he be into you? From what you say, it sounds like a possibility. To be sure, you've got to come out of aisle three and tend to the spill in your heart. You should know by your own external demeanor that you can't tell if a guy is gay or bi simply based his hair, affinity to boobs or 420 habit. You've got to take the lead and see if what you want to be true is actually a reality.

Fortunately, there is a very sly way of finding out the blue light special without actually posting an ad. His best Judy is the key! It's an age-old trick to let the best friend know that you are interested. Once you do she will inevitably (as a part of the BFF code) tell your future man that you are into him. That being said, there are three ways you can go about this. Both require a premium sack of bravery, but if you can handle pesky grocery store customers, you can get to know this dude without a problem.

Method #1: The Geisha Girl Look
Wait until he and the BFF are talking or at least near each other. Without alerting him, let her see you checking him out. Make it obvious. Chances are, if he does bat for your team, he's already told her. Once she sees you salivating over him, she's convey the message. Then, all you have to do is wait until he confirms what she suspected.

Method #2: The Intervention
This one takes a value pack of potatoes. Talk to the best friend and ask her if he's single. Come out to her and tell her that you think he's the best thing since overtime and that you need to know the tea on his sexuality. If she's not a hater, she'll come clean and convey the message. BFF's love to be matchmakers. Use it to your advantage. Also, keep in mind that she's giving her endorsement by suggesting a hook up between you and him. Be nice to her. Show her that you are worthy of a connection with her best man. She's less inclined to hook her friend up with a jerk.

Method #3: Cash Out
By choosing method #3 you stop hiding behind your cash register receipts and instead focus on getting your man! Take advantage of the bi-confusion in the world. Many people still don't understand bisexuality. To some, it makes you more desirable, especially to those that get off on "converting" the "unconvertible." Out your self and your mancrush and take a chance. You have less to lose based on the sheer fact that you have more possibilities for romance than us monosexuals. If he's not into you or slides on the straight side, then set your sites on the next long haired boob man in the break room. There's bound to be another one!

Yours in love,
Ramon