1. People & Relationships
You can opt-out at any time. Please refer to our privacy policy for contact information.

Discuss in my forum

How To Date Younger Men

By

Dear Mona Lisa,

I'm 38 years old, and I always have been attracted to or dated people about my age. Now I'm single and I haven't dated for a while (I mean seriously dated). A boy about 20 years old seems very interested in me and I like him. But, I  don't know how flirt or approach him. I don't have experience dating younger guys. I hope you understand what I mean. I'll appreciate your advice.

Sincerely,
Arc


Arc my love,

I wouldn't worry too much about this younger dude. The 20-something gays are more bold, more aggressive and much more self-aware than previous generations. Just keep in mind that there is almost a 20 year age difference, so while he's rockin' to Taylor Swift, you're humming The Commodores. But, generation aside, if he's shown interest then he's definitely digging your vibe.

You've been out of the game for a while, so it may seem like you've forgotten how to flirt, but a man's mojo never really fades away. A guy's ability to flirt is somehow embedded in his DNA. We don't lose it, it can just lie dormant sometimes.

But, is flirting with a younger guy the same as flirting with someone your own age? In many ways it is. You don't have to pull out a new bag of tricks to snag a newbie. Keep in mind:
  1. He knows you've been around the block a few times and it probably intrigues him. He's looking for you to use that experience to court him.

  2. From your past experiences, you know how (and how not) to treat a man. His younger age doesn't change the fact that he wants to be treated like an A-gay, not a 24-hour quick fix.

  3. The 20-somethings are extremely astute, so he'll pick up on any corniness or shadiness. Keep it clean and ditch the cheesy pick up lines and sleazy innuendos.

  4. If he wanted a 20-something, he would date one, so don't mention your age difference unless he brings it up.

  5. Be bold and show that you know how to handle this situation. Take the lead. Say hello. Throw him a clean compliment. Then, ask him out. You pick the place, time and date then ask him if the plans work for him. If not, open the floor for his suggestions.

  6. Be persistent, but not annoying. He's probably waiting for you to make the first move, but he doesn't want to seem too easy or eager so he might not respond right away. That doesn't mean he's not seriously considering it. Take your time and escalate your advances. Don't give up. He needs to know that you are willing to put forth the effort for his prize.

  7. Entice him with an irresistible date to see something he's never seen before (Is there a quirky and cool exhibit showing downtown?) or something he has seen (Is his favorite group spotlighting at a local venue?). You might not want to get front row seats to Patti LaBelle, but you can introduce him to other cool things that maybe your experiences have led you to.

  8. Always keep in mind that dating younger is not about being younger; it's about being yourself and staying relevant. He doesn't expect you to party like you've just earned your gay membership card, but he does expect you to stay up past 9:30 when he wants a night out on the town. Prove that you can hang.

  9. Give him the dedicated attention he's looking for. Let him know that you can take a break from your life and make it about him. Ask him about his hobbies and interests, then make a date around them.

  10. Most importantly, keep it cool. More than likely he's nervous as well and is wondering what a 38-year-old sees in him. Just be real, respectful and court him just like you would someone your own age while keeping it relevant. If he's into you, trust me, he'll respond.
Yours,
Mona
  1. About.com
  2. People & Relationships
  3. Gay Life
  4. Gay Marriage and Relationships
  5. Dating
  6. Singles
  7. Advice and Tips for Dating Younger Men

©2014 About.com. All rights reserved.