Feminine With A Masculine Type

Hey Mona,

I guess you could say I'm pretty feminine. I've always been and it seems like most gay guys are a bit feminine. But, I'm attracted to masculine looking, and to an extent acting, guys. Is this normal or something I should get over?

Dear Femme-bot,

Liking the types of guys you like isn't something you should get over, it's something you should get into (as long as leave room for interpretation and stay clear of the straight boy trap). It's perfectly normal for you to like what you like. Quite frankly, it's commendable that you know yourself well enough to know what you want. It takes some guys a lifetime to get there.

Sometimes us gays tend to adopt the same generalizations that others put upon us. We refer to more masculine gay men as "acting" or "looking," when in fact they are just masculine. There's no act involved (at least for the majority).

You may have only noticed the femme gays because, as you identify, they are a reflection of you. However, there are a number of gay guys out there that live under the radar, unnoticed by cute batting eyes like your own, because they don't "look gay" or "act gay."

Here's what I suggest: Be you. Open your eyes and ears. There may be many types of gays, but there are only three types of guys: the hunters, the hunted and the versatile. The formula is simple (even though the execution may be a little more difficult). If you want to be hunted, then you must act like prey.

Don't be afraid to flirt a little. Be subtle, but forward enough to get their attention. Sleazy advances were so early 2000's. Present yourself in all of your enticing colors. Make it known that you're open to being chased. Start showing what you can offer and keep at it until you figure out what whets his appetite.

Don't be so easy to give in. More than likely, the hunter will be perched waiting and somewhat distant as he explores his options. Never compromise your boundaries, but keep your ground. And don't give away too much too soon. The most skilled hunters are most fulfilled when they earn their prize.

Once you find out what he can't resist, then hit him hard with how much of that one thing you can offer. If he bites, then start communicating what you need in return. This makes the difference between him liking you and yearning for you.

So, be you, my femme friend and go give your masculine man a good chase.

Yours hunting,
Mona