Gay Dating Advice - Should You Start A Long Distance Relationship?

Dear Mona,

I recently visited Philadelphia from Washington DC. I was going out to meet an old friend of mine who is recently engaged and wanted to celebrate. We went out, had some drinks and then went to a local gay club for fun. While at the club I ended up talking to this really nice guy. We went out for some food that night after dancing, walked back towards our destinations for the evening and had parting kisses. The next day we ended up hanging out for a few hours at his place cuddling then going out for lunch before I had to head back to DC.

I don't know what to do from here. The time we spent together was amazing and I haven't been able to get him off of my mind. He is smart, accomplished, has the most adorable personality and a great sense of humor. I don't know how to go about pursuing this. I would bus, plane, train or drive to see this guy again.

Rye

Dear Traveler,

I myself have fallen victim to the like-a-man-don't-know-what-to-do-next syndrome and have failed miserably at it many a times. Just when I'm guessing he thinks I'm weird, he's posts glowing reviews to his friends. Right when I think I've snagged him, he's over me. When I don't call, he asks where I've been. When I do call, he has to run because... well, you can insert any excuse here. But none of this is completely my fault. It's a known fact that it's easier to disarm North Korea than it is to figure out what a gay man wants. That's why it's best to just follow your gut and do what you do, meaning: If you have the inclination to call, text, or take a trip, just do it without worrying about how he will react.

Over the years and through a contact list of men that's expanded and contracted more times than a Oprah's waistline, I've learned enough to know that when it comes to dating men (yes, I'm also referring to you, my hetero onlookers) you just have to trust your gut and raw instincts. Believe in you and be your authentic self. Your gut will never fail you. But be extremely cautious with your mind—which is often influenced by emotions and past experiences. You're either going to impress him with a little shock and awe or make his nukes go limp.

Philly to D.C. isn't an ocean away, so it's worth giving it a try. Plus, you're close enough to cuddle, yet far enough away to have your man space if you need it. So, believe in the connection that you've made (no matter how brief) and go with the flow. Buckle down and take the lead. Start casual with a few voice or text conversations. If he feels the same nuclear reaction that you do, then talk some more and gas up your Subaru.

Find a local event in Philly and ask him to join you. Keep the pressure low and the fun high. Get to know him and see if your bond can sustain more than just a magical tourist ride. And lastly, if things move in the right direction, you may want to consider starting a long distance relationship.

Yours riding shotgun,
Mona