Should You Move In Together?

Dear Mona:
My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and three months. We are seriously considering moving in together. Neither of us have our own space as we both live at home with our parents.

We love each other, and plan on spending the rest our lives together. We both have very strong personalities and get into arguments over small stupid things. These arguments get way out of control because of our personalities. Admittedly, I don't give in when I should which doesn't help. We care about our relationship, and don't want to walk away from each other. Please help. We don't know where to go from here. -Wes

Wes:
Listen carefully. Walk away from the packing tape and put the boxes back in the garage. Think back to what you just wrote: Neither of you have lived alone or dealt with the stress of running a household. And after nearly a year and a half, you guys haven't figured out how to communicate or compromise, I should say, for the sake of the relationship. It sounds like it's a fire fight living apart. Think about what it would be like living together? If you can't compromise while staying with your parents, how can you expect to compromise when it comes to furniture, bills, house-hunting, sharing space and all of the other small things that add up to your ability to give and get?

Two alpha-male egos need to be especially careful when moving in together because their natural tendency is to claim dominance, not share it. You're looking at a constant sword fight for control.

All is not lost, though. Before moving in together, try living in your own spaces for a while and during that time work on compromising on the small things. That's where the love kicks in. It will eventually force you both to decide—for its sake—how much you're willing to give to make it last.