New To Personal Ad Dating

Dear Mona,

I'm a closeted 20-year-old gay man who recently met someone via a personals ad. He goes to school with me and is closeted as well. How do I go about hinting at a relationship? He seems sensitive and open-minded enough to want one, but I can't be sure. The only idea is that he messaged me on the personals ad, which clearly states what I'm looking for. I'm new at this. Could that be a good sign?

Kevin

Hi Newbie,

The problem with online/ad dating is most profile and ad viewers are selective readers. Not to burst your new ad bubble, but just because this guy read what you're looking for doesn't mean he actually read what you're looking for... Confused? You're not alone. We have yet to understand the true psyche of a man, gay or straight. I say leave nothing to question, kick the assumptions to the curb and use your person-to-person encounters as opportunities to get to know him- all while reiterating what you desire. Just be sure not to come off as too rigid. As you get to know him you may discover new desires.

Ease the relationship pressure for now. Enjoy this time as you build up to one. Play it cool and show him through your actions (as opposed to words) that you desire something more serious. Drop hints by creating excitement. Don't give too much too soon, though. Let him work for your intimacy and ultimately your hand.

Do you ever watch Animal Planet? We can learn a lot by watching the daily rituals of the animals on this Earth. Just like the hungry tiger, there is something about the hunt that gets a guy's juices flowing. The cat-as with the man-will leap over an already available food supply to chase after the more thrilling, yet harder to catch, gazelle. The slower gazelle knows he'll soon be caught, but continues to play the game- giving his best effort. Just as the tiger approaches, the gazelle cuts right, then left, finally accepting his fate face-to-grass.

Keep the intrigue alive by saving some of your romantic tricks for later. He'll appreciate the effort. Take him to your favorite spots with the disclaimer that you never takes dates there. That tells him indirectly that he's special. Then wait for him to open up his world. Trump that move with another of your own. If he's still in the game, he'll respond. Play your cards right and you'll have him salivating at the thought of your next move until he finally accepts his fate face-to-grass.

Yours in love,
Mona Lisa