Dating For Career Men

Mona Lisa,

The $64,000 question:  Where can/will I find love?  

I've spent two decades working on building a career and the education that goes with it. And now, I realize that I'm lacking love–a partner–in my life. The same old locations are not working.  

Dr. Robert
LB/OC, California

Well Dr. Feel Good,

You've come to the right place, because I've just cleaned off my magic gay ball. You have a $64,000 question? Here's the $1 million answer:

You've spent most of your time checking pulses and now you long for throbs of a different kind. You're in luck. It's never too late to fall "in like" or dabble with a little love. I'm glad you've awaken from your laborious trance. Now it's time to get on to dating and romance.

You think you've diagnosed the problem, but simply dropping the stethoscope or the text or the (whatever kind of doctor you are... ) won't be enough. You've got to listen to your own symptoms. The standard places aren't working for you, so use that expensive training you're paying for and keep probing until you find your target.

Bars and the profiles are the easy way to instant gratification. Unfortunately, any connection there can easily become a frivolous chat or a one night forgetaboutit. If you want substance, you've got to hunt for it. Not all guys like the bars. Most like to do the things that interest them.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Go where they go! If you like a little crunch in your man, you're not going to find him at McDonald's. He's more than likely talking to the organic asparagus at the farmer's market. If you want some beef in your Patty, then take advantage of that zero down recession special at the gym. You don't actually have to lift. What you want to do is hunt for the guy that's lifting. If you're gitty for the geek squad, like I am, then find a local book reading schedule. Plant yourself in a cafe near the local U. Brush up on your graphic novels. Heck, go to every panel discussion you can find. You can't possibly be the only Dr. with a "g" at the end of his name. Doc, you get the point. You're used to spending every free moment focusing on your goals. Place social time on your priority list or you'll continue to be married to your career. Oh, and when you do find him, don't be afraid to say hello.

Ultimately, your challenge is going to be your schedule, my driven friend. Of course, the obvious is that you must make time in your busy day-to-day to hunt for men. You thought school and building your career was tough. Wait until you start training your dating muscles.

What may not be as transparent is a small detail most driven career men neglect. If you've dedicated two decades to your career and education, then more than likely you've planned your entire life down to the interest rate on every student loan. And now, you want to schedule in a little love.

To your dismay, as you embark on your journey for man, you're going to find that love can never be scheduled. It works on it's own time and is, quite frankly, an often annoying jokester. Love, like, and romance are the biggest brats in the Universe. The more you try to control them, the more they will disappoint you. Go after what you want, but open yourself up to the possibilities. Often, finding the right person is about being at the right place at the right time. Go to the places you think you'll find the one you want, but listen to your gut and let it guide you astray if it must. Your man-map is just a guide. More than likely, you'll run into the real him along your way.

Check please. Oh, and I take cash only.

Yours cruising the waiting room,
Mona