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HIV Positive Dating

When Should You Tell Him You're Positive?

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Dear Mona Lisa,

I'm an HIV positive gay man. When should I tell someone whom I am interested in, dating and possibly looking at having a long term relationship with about my HIV status?


Dear J. Q. Revealing,

Give him a chance to get to know you as a person and not you as your status. Go out on a few dates and see how things develop. If you dig him and he digs you, then spill the tea. I would suggest not sleeping with him before disclosing your status, though. He might feel betrayed later or focus more on his status than the possibilities of a healthy relationship with you.

Discuss safer sex and the risk factors. Also, talk to him about your personal health care plans and let him know what you expect from him.

If he doesn't want to stick around after the news, then that's his lack of understanding and fear, not a deficiency on your part.

Always remember, your HIV status doesn't define who you are. Be honest and open. The right person will stick by your side no matter what!

Yours in Love,
Mona Lisa
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