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How Can I Turn a Straight Guy Gay?

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Smiling male friends with red wine
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Dear Mona,

I am a 16 year old gay High School student and I am deeply crushing on this guy in my section in marching band. There are some signs he is gay. I see him checking me out when he thinks I'm not looking. I would love to know the best way to turn him gay, or at least get him to like me. Can you help me with this? I just love him ever so much!


Dear Drummer Boy,

I'm an ex band geek so I'll spare you the band jokes and jump right into one of the hottest Broadway musicals, Wicked, based on the favorite tale, Wizard of Oz.

Did you know the Wicked Witch of the West wasn't always evil? Elphaba (the birth name of the previously mentioned witch) had every intention of using her magic powers to make the world a better place- finding love for her sister (correctly guessed as the Wicked Witch of the East) and saving her love crush from a tragic end. The result of her screw up was the Tin Man and the Scarecrow. Later frustrated that her attempts at creating her own fantasy miserably failed, Elphaba vowed a life of evil. Of course, there is way more to the story, but the moral here is that you can save yourself a lot of grief by letting the natural course of things unfold. By trying to save your crush from a devastating straight fate you may end up losing your own self-esteem.

Many gay men try to use their powers of queer persuasion to create the ideal love fantasy. They become preoccupied with the quest of turning the seemingly impossible into the utterly tragic.

We all wish we could wave a wand and turn our crush into lust, but even if it were possible, would you want it that way? Let's shift the focus from the impossible (which is turning him gay) to the practical (finding out if he is gay through friendship).

There are no definite signs that disclose a person's sexuality. So, the best plan of attack here is to gain his trust as a friend. You say he looks in your direction, then strike up a conversation. Talk about that cool new Astroturf on the football field or how ridiculous piccolos look marching with those tiny instruments. Any excuse to start a friendship. Once you get to know him, you'll soon discover whether you desire a deeper friendship or not. You don't have to come out to him right away, but you should eventually disclose your intentions.

Of course, you love him so and want him now, but have a little patience. If he shares your feelings, he'll return the sentiment. If he's gay, you'll eventually know when he's ready for you to know. Until then keep your wand in your pants and stay in line.

Yours in love,
Mona

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