How To Meet Someone When You're HIV Positive

Q: A year ago I tested positive for HIV. Just about everyone I meet with HIV uses it as an excuse to sleep around. Do you have any advice on how I can meet others with HIV that might actually want a serious relationship or am I just kidding myself?

A: Try not to think of your status as the cause of your perils. Dating, poz or not, isn't easy. Men are crazy creatures sometimes. Some overcommit or don't commit at all. The key is finding someone in between.

Online Dating

Immediately, I wonder where you're looking for love. Sounds like you need a change of scenery. Try a search for "hiv positive dating" and a ton of sites pop up dedicated to dating poz. Two sites that stand out are PozPersonals for their plethora of poz-affirmative resources and its negative-inclusive environment and HIVpassions because it's more of a social network than a traditional dating site–and it's free!

Serodiscordant Dating

Also, keep your options open. Your status doesn't define who you are and it's not the Scarlet letter you think it is. Not all neg guys are opposed to dating someone positive.

Dating Offline

You don't have to wear your status like a stamp on your forehead. Show off who you are as a person and let someone get to know you beyond your status. Get out there and be unwavering about what you're looking for. And when I say "out there," I mean start engaging in activities that interest you. You never know who you may run into in your art class, at a support group, during that theater workshop, while volunteering, or on your gaming forum...

Dating–poz or not–is hit or miss, but you increase your chances by being proactive and persistent.