Interview with Chad Allen

Chad Allen explores his spiritual journey, the state of gay films and the one place he'd love to see men swimming in an aquarium.

Tell me a little about your production company Mythgarden.

I launched Mythgarden two years ago with Robert Gant from Queer as Folk, Christopher Racster and now our forth partner Craig Dougherty. We originally got together to make Save Me—which we did. After that, we decided there was something to what we were doing. We wanted to turn the page on what's been done in LGBT programming and filmmaking. So, here we are a couple of years later and we're raising a bunch of money and probably are going to work on 17 projects in the next 6 years, all LGBT-focused or queer-centric and slightly broader.

Do you think current LGBT films have too narrow of a focus?

We just want to turn the page on quality and what's been done thematically. For years we've been going to the queer film festivals and watching the films. What I want to erase is the connection between, 'Oh, it's a little gay movie' and therefore 'it sucks qualitatively.' We're certainly not the only folks doing this, but we want to talk about making everything from straight forward to what I call issue films, like Save Me, also horror and sci-fi movies with gay characters, queer adventure stories and all kinds of things in-between.

Are you going to star in any of these movies?

Some of them. If it serves the piece best then I'll consider it, but more often than not I won't. There will probably be other actors because my biggest fear is that what we do will be perceived as a vanity production company, which is entirely limiting. I get just as much pleasure and reward from just being able to bring the stories to the world.

Do you prefer the production side?

I don't know if I prefer it. I love to act. I don't know that I love to act and produce at the same time. I'm from the school of one man-one job when it comes to filmmaking which is not necessarily the Indie way. I think the film works best when the writer writes, the director directs and the actors act.

How do you feel being an out gay actor? Is it a stigma? Do you feel held back?

I'd never characterize it as held back because that makes it sounds like I'm the victim of this 'thing.' I stepped into being an openly gay actor knowing full well that the rights movement wasn't done and that we weren't there and I wasn't going to be accepted in the same way as when I was closeted. I do feel that my career shifted when I came out. It was harder to get attention because people automatically want to pigeon hold you, but I knew that was going to come. I expected it.

What's the best role you've played thus far?

My favorite role is always whatever I'm working on, but I think the role in End of the Spear was profound for me in so many ways because it presented me with such a huge personal challenge. A huge spiritual gift was given to me as a result of facing all of the condemnation and judgement. It served as a catalyst for so much of the work I've done since, including the creation of Save Me.

You were very spiritual before the movie, so in what capacity did you change?

I was but it forced me to dig deeper. There's nothing like facing fear, internalized homophobia and judgement head on. I took all of that in and then [went] deeper into my own relationship with God. I owe a debt of gratitude to those folks beyond what they can comprehend, which is bizarre to say because I'm sure many of them have certain ideas about what was intended for me. I'm just grateful for the entire experience.

Was there one person that you leaned on during that time?

So many people. The director of the film was an important mentor and friend to me. My friendship with Bishop Robinson also came as an indirect result of the experience. He's been an amazing mentor and supportive force.

How's the support from your family?

It's amazing. A bunch of years ago I would've said it doesn't exist; I'm on my own. And yet now I look back and I don't feel like their support was ever not there. So much of the time what we believe is lack of support or lack of connection is really a figment of what we created. So much of what was between my family and I was what I placed there because I decided they couldn't accept me. It's taken time, but we have an amazing relationship today.

You were 24 when Matthew Shepard died. How do you feel being an honorary board member of the Matthew Shepard Foundation?

Matthew and I were about the same age. We were both out and full force into that young out phase of our lives. When he was killed it was a hard core slap in the face. I remember going home almost hiding out to watch that story unfold. I didn't really occur to me to participate in the organization. It felt like I knew him and then when I got a phone call from Judy Shepard saying [she'd] really like to meet me, I was so humbled. It was very emotional for me and since they have become like family and I just love them so much.

It seems like every role you do has a purpose. You've hit all of the gay issues. Is there a fusion between your philanthropic life and your acting life?

It's not as conscious as you think. I believe that when you set your heart and soul toward the greater good and turn your will and life over to the care of whatever you call your higher power or spirit, things absolutely line up the way they're supposed to. It's not an accident that what you're seeing is true and it's also not entirely conscious. There are some days when I want to quit and go teach scuba diving in Costa Rica, and maybe I will do that eventually.

I know you love the ocean. Does the water do something for you?

Oh yeah. I've been diving since I was 14 and my childhood dreams were all about being under the water in the ocean. I'm an absolute nerd and geek when it comes to Discovery Channel and National Geographic.

If you could design your own gay pride float, what would it look like?

An aquarium with mer-men swimming inside.

Swim with Chad Allen at chadallenonline.com. Also, check out his production company, Mythgarden.