Monogamous Relationships and HIV Information

Dear Mona,

It seems no matter where I go on the internet for gay information, it comes up tainted with religion and some Fred Phelps sympathetics. I grew up in a small country town within the bible belt. I try and research information on sexually transmitted diseases, particularly HIV/AIDS. Most of the sources I come across seem to infer that "gay sex" is the cause of AIDS, but I don't buy that. Is it possible for two men to be in a monogamous relationship without worrying about sexually transmitted diseases?

Dear STD Surfer,

Sure, it's very possible for two gay men in a monogamous relationship to set aside worries about HIV and other STD's. Where couples get into problems is when one of the pair sneaks off for a midnight snack and brings back home some crumbs. Gay men certainly weren't/aren't the cause of HIV/AIDS and definitely aren't the only ones spreading it.

For comprehensive information and resources on HIV/AIDS information, check out the HIV/AIDS site on About.com. There's tons of helpful and objective information from HIV meds to coping skills to rick factors, all the way to environmental influences on STD's.

On the topic of two committed men having relations without protection: There are many men in healthy and monogamous relationships, but saying you're in a monogamous relationship isn't enough these days. If you and your mate choose to have unprotected sex, always keep the lines of communication open. Frequently discuss the status of your relationship and talk about any desires to stray outside of the partnership.

I don't advocate paranoia, but naivete can be just as dangerous. At the first sign your boyfriend is cheating, wrap it up and have a little chat. Better an early evening argument than a life-changing disease.

Your gay friend,
Mona