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How To Perfect Edging During Masturbation


The beauty of sex is that it is both a physical and psychological experience. Our body and mind work together to stimulate our senses and create sensations and awareness that lasts for the moment and often for a long time to come. Many think of sex as intercourse, but there are techniques beyond penetration that offer new and exciting ways to enhance the experience.

A technique called 'edging' is one way to break with the norm and heighten your excitement while masturbating or having sex with a partner. Depending on your willpower and focus, edging can supercharge your pleasure. As an added side effect, over time edging helps you last longer by prolonging orgasm and ejaculation.

What is edging?

Here's how it works. Simply put, edging is preventing yourself from ejaculation and orgasm by bringing yourself (or your partner) to the 'edge' of ejaculation (or right before you 'cum') and then backing off until the sensation to release goes down. Once you've calmed a bit, the process is repeated until either you or your partner can resist the temptation no longer.

Why would you want to do this?

Some say edging helps you "deepen your connection to your own, or someone else’s sexual response." By holding off, you begin to learn how your body responds to certain stimuli and you gain better control over when and how it responds. This is especially helpful if you want to last longer and prolong sex with yourself or a partner.

Others find pleasure in the discipline it takes to edge. Our bodies do the ejaculating, but as far as we know it's our mind that triggers the orgasm response. Edging trains the mind to keep focused at the edge of ejaculation, when it's hardest to resist the sensation to erupt. Hold the sensation, hold the ejaculation and prolong the orgasmic experience.

What often happens during edging is a compounded effect of pleasure. The pleasure experienced during the 'first' edge increases as you repeat it. Therefore, better control allows you to last longer and increase the pleasure you feel.

As an added benefit for partners that like 'power play', edging can be used to either dominate or submit. Partners into hard power or casual play can deepen their connection by either taking control or giving up control of when the other ejaculates. Edging is the cure for boring sex and a routine trip in the sack.

Edging for sex education?

I mentioned how edging can heighten your senses. It's worth saying that edging is also a means for education. Most of our experiences with sex is gained by ourselves. This isn't as bad as it first sounds. Through self pleasure or masturbation we learn how to pleasure ourselves and how we want others to pleasure us. Nonetheless, there may be pleasures that we have yet to discover. As your senses heighten with edging, so will your awareness of what your body yearns for.

The same applies to a partner. By edging your partner (or letting him edge you), you gain good insight into what how he likes to be pleasured, what sensations drive him crazy and which are miss, and discover new ways to explore--together. Thinks of edging as a sensory education in overdrive.

How do you know when he's at the edge?

Edging is all about letting your partner's body speak for him. We know our own limits through sensation, yet our partner's edge isn't as obvious. So, how can you tell when he's about to cum?

About.com Guide to Sexuality Cory Silverberg provides a great explanation of the process of 'male sexual response' and debunks a few myths while he's at it. Cory reminds us that what we see coming out of someone's penis is not the same as an orgasm. He explains:

"There is still a lot of misinformation out there about male sexual response. People are often surprised to learn that ejaculation and orgasm in men are actually two separate events. Ejaculation is a physiological event, something you can usually observe, whereas orgasm is a perceived experience, which may or may not be something you can 'see'." read more

It should be obvious by now that edging is both a physical activity and an out of body experience. Focusing on one enhances the other. Give it a try the next time you masturbate or play with a partner, but remember to be patient with the process. Edging is a slow game of chess that is well worth the outcome.

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