The beauty of sex is that it is both a physical and psychological experience. Our body and mind work together to stimulate our senses and create sensations and awareness that lasts both for the moment and a long time to come. Many think of sex in terms of intercourse, but there are techniques beyond penetration that offer new and exciting ways to enhance the experience.
A technique called 'edging' is one way to break with the norm and heighten your excitement during masturbating or sex with a partner. Depending on your willpower and focus, edging can supercharge your pleasure. As an added benefit, edging over time helps prolong orgasms and ejaculation.
What is edging?
Here's how it works. Simply put, by edging, you or your partner prolong ejaculation and orgasm by bringing yourselves to the 'edge' of ejaculation (or the moment right before you 'cum') and then backing off until the sensation to release goes away. Once you've calmed a bit, the process is repeated until neither you nor your partner can resist the temptation finally let go.
Why would you want to edge?
Some say edging helps "deepen your connection to your own, or someone else’s sexual response." By holding off, you learn how your body responds to certain sexual stimuli and gain better control over when you ejaculate. This is especially helpful if you want to last longer and prolong sex with yourself or a partner.
Others find pleasure in the discipline it takes to edge. Physically, our bodies do the ejaculating, but as far as we know it's our minds that trigger orgasms. Edging trains the mind to stay focused when the temptation is greatest to ejaculate. Many believe by prolonging the sensation and thus ejaculation, the orgasmic experience is heightened exponentially.
Often what happens during edging is a compounded effect of pleasure. Pleasure increases the more times you edge during a session with your parter (or yourself). As an added benefit for partners that like 'power play', edging can be used to either dominate or submit. Partners into hard power or casual play can deepen their connection by either taking control of or giving up control over when the other ejaculates. In other words, edging is the cure for boring sex and a routine trip in the sack.
Edging for sex education?
I mentioned how edging can heighten the senses. But, it's worth saying that edging is also a means for education. Much of our experience with sex, particularly as teens, is gained by ourselves. This isn't as bad as it sounds. Through self pleasure or masturbation we learn how to pleasure ourselves and in turn how we want others to pleasure us. As an added bonus we become better lovers for our partners. Nonetheless, with experience comes awareness that there may still be pleasures we have yet to discover. Edging is a pathway to sexual discovery. As your senses heighten with edging, so will your awareness of what you (and your body) want.
The same applies to a partner. By edging your partner (or letting him edge you), you gain good insight into what how he likes to be pleasured, what sensations drive him crazy, and which techniques are a miss. You also discover new ways to explore in the bedroom--together. Think of edging as sensory education in overdrive.
How do you know when he's at the edge?
Edging is all about letting your partner's body speak for him. We know our sexual limits through sensation, yet our partner's edge isn't as obvious. So, how can you tell when he's about to cum?
About.com Guide to Sexuality Cory Silverberg provides a great explanation of the process of 'male sexual response' and debunks a few myths while he's at it. Cory reminds us that what we see coming out of someone's penis is not the same as an orgasm. He explains:
"There is still a lot of misinformation out there about male sexual response. People are often surprised to learn that ejaculation and orgasm in men are actually two separate events. Ejaculation is a physiological event, something you can usually observe, whereas orgasm is a perceived experience, which may or may not be something you can 'see'." read more
It should be obvious by now that edging is both a physical activity and an out of body experience. Focusing on one enhances the other. Give it a try the next time you masturbate or play with a partner, but remember to be patient with the process. Edging is a slow game that is well worth the outcome.