Interview with Jay Bakker

...continued

How do you feel about the expectations that are placed on you as the son of Jim and Tammy Faye?

Expectations are a b**th! I will be the first to tell you that I can't live up to anybody's expectations unless they're super low... really [laugh]. Sometimes people want to see certain people and certain speakers as the answer. It's not fair for us to put expectations on people because it leads to disappointment. We're all human beings; one no better than another. I don't have a secret phone to God. I'm just serving him to the best of my ability. There have been people who've been disappointed by the stances that I've taken, but that's ok. My opinions are just a part of me.

There are many same-gender-loving people who are estranged from their parents because they disagree on the issue of sexuality. Similarly--but under different circumstances--you've been estranged from your father. How can these differences be overcome?

The one thing that's helped me personally is realizing that my parents are people and people are flawed. I slowly and gently take my parents down from the pedestal that I put them on. It's not fair for them. Unfortunately, there is no handbook that parents get when we pop out. They're people too, trying to do the best they can. Unfortunately, they probably have as many expectations on us as we do them.

We have to learn to accept each other as humans and sometimes us kids have to be the compassionate ones. We may be a little bit more open to things that they aren't. We may understand some things that parents don't because there are generational differences. We should be patient with one another and take a realistic look at who our parents are. My dad is a man who had a passion for God, became a preacher, made some mistakes, lost everything and has problems with intimacy. But I realize that's he's a man--a human being, and he's not perfect. Realizing he's just a man has brought us to a level where we're able to be friends and rekindle a new type of relationship. We respect each other as human beings rather than as son and father.

It's so easy for us to see our parents as either super heroes or super villains. I think it's important for us to see our parents as human beings... the same way we should see ourselves.

Were your expectations too high for yourself when you went from choir boy to LSD/punk rock kid?

As a kid I just wanted to be liked. My parents were 'top dog' and there were a lot of kids who were jealous of me. It really hurt. And when my parents lost everything, I was alone.

When I started high school, I felt like I wanted to create a new me. I wanted to be Jay rather than Jamie Charles. I was doing certain things to be loved and accepted. Unfortunately, the ones that were accepting me out partying, doing drugs and having a good time. At the same time it seemed like they loved and cared about me more than the people at my church.

What really threw me back into Christianity was when I started to realize the message of grace, God and love. God loved me just the way I was. I could say or do anything and God still loved me. It was that love that drew me back into the church. When I realized how much God loved me, I wanted to know more about God and there were certain things that got in the way, like being drunk all the time. So eventually I got sober.

The more I love God and follow Christ, the more I want to love other people like God accepted and loved me. God has changed me, but I don't place that same expectation on other people. I allow God to be God in people's lives.

Do you have any comments for the glbt people out there who've lost their faith and are now looking to fill that void?

Don't let the bast**ds get you down. Christians aren't God. Religious people aren't God. God loves you, just where you're at... just the way you are, no matter what you've done. God loves you whether you love him or not and there's nothing you can do about it. As far as the negative and judgmental stuff goes, realize that Jesus has a crappy fan club. Just don't give up!

Jay Bakker is the son of Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker and the founder of Revolution Church. See Jay on the Sundance Channel original series One Punk Under God.