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He Wants to Have Sex Without a Condom
Top 10 Questions About Gay Sex
© Margarit Ralev
Dear Mona Lisa,

I recently met a guy online this past June. We chatted often, exchanged many pictures, and even agreed to run background checks on each other for our own comfort. Now, after 5 months, we've told each other that we love each other! We haven't met in person yet, but he's flying me down to see him for a few weeks in December. Since this will be our first sexual experience together, and with me being a virgin, I'm a little concerned!

I love him to no end, and know already I want to spend the rest of my life with him. He says he's been tested for any STD's including HIV and is clean. He also told me he'd like to try sex without a condom, since he's clean and I am too. Anyways, is this something I should do? Should I carefully ask to see test results? Or should I request that a condom be used? Please help!!

Thanks, Tommy


Dear Tommy,

I'm always weary of anyone that asks not to use a condom on the first run (or the second, or third, or...). If he's asked you, chances are he's asked others- and, trust me- there were probably many guys who said yes. A ton of guys have also fallen into the "but he loves me" trap only to end up alone taking a cocktail of meds. Why not suggest you both get tested together before having sex? You'll know if he's genuine by his response. And even after the results come back, suggest you use condoms for at least another 6 weeks (remember, a test today doesn't cover 3 to 6 weeks of exposure).

One last note at the risk of sounding like gay mom... read more

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