Gay Top, Bottom or Versatile?

You may have been asked at one time or another whether you were a top, bottom, or versatile. Some gay men use these labels to identify themselves or to find partners that match their preferences. Others prefer a more loose interpretation of their sexual roles.

What do these labels mean?

• Top
• Bottom
• Versatile
• Versatile Top
• Versatile Bottom

How do you know if a person is a top, bottom, or versatile?
A person's sexual role has more to do with personal preference than how masculine or feminine they are or may appear. Being more masculine does not make one a top, just as being a bottom doesn't mean a person is less dominant or more effeminate.

To find out if your potential partner is a top or bottom either ask or wait until you are both intimate to discover what you both enjoy best. Keep in mind, however, that some men don't like labels or may be versatile. These men usually let the nature of each relationship dictate which role (or multiple roles) they are comfortable with.

Why are you being asked to label yourself?
Unlike traditional generalizations of sexual compatibility in straight relationships, when two men are involved it is difficult to determine sexual compatibility before meeting. There are no absolutes when it comes to an individual's sexual preferences. Some men use these descriptors as a guide, while others see them as a necessary before sex or dating.