Should You Come Out On Thanksgiving Day?

Mom wants you to come home on Thanksgiving Day, but is turkey time the best time to come out?

Thanksgiving may seem like an opportune moment to come out since you will have a captive audience. However, you can also find yourself trapped in the situation despite the outcome.

Your coming out scenario can play out in either one of three ways: your parents could freak out, they could love you dearly or be indifferent. We often have in our heads how our parents will react. They may have made homophobic comments in the past, sneered at a gay couple, or made innuendos about their openness to everyone. Even if you think you're sure of how they will respond, you could be quite surprised. For instance, I was sure by me coming out that my relationship with my mom was over. Instead, she shrugs the news off with a "I already knew that!" It was far less dramatic than I anticipated. Readers have also shared coming out stories with the opposite outcome. Ultimately, despite what has run through your head, you can't be 100 percent sure how your parents will respond to your coming out.

The truth is: A mom and dad's feelings about homosexuality and their feelings about their child being gay could be quite different. Also, there will be other family members around. Coming out doesn't have to be a group announcement. It should be an intimate conversation and a moment with the people in your life. Have the conversation not in the midst of the busyness of the holiday, but when you will have time to talk about your feeling and what your sexual identity really means.

Again, you can't know for sure how your parents will react, so you want to take the time you need to dispel any misconceptions they may have or to talk through all of your feelings. A big family dinner may not be the best time to have that conversation.

So, if you're ready to come out to your parents and find yourself at a loss for when to make it happen, choose a time when you don't have to share their attention with the craziness of the holiday and a time when you have the flexibility to manage their response.