1. People & Relationships
You can opt-out at any time. Please refer to our privacy policy for contact information.

Discuss in my forum

Review: Finding the Boyfriend Within by Brad Gooch

When your endless search for a boyfriend dead ends.

About.com Rating 3.5 Star Rating
User Rating 5 Star Rating (1 Review)

By

Review: Finding the Boyfriend Within by Brad Gooch

Finding the Boyfriend Within by Brad Gooch

Simon & Schuster
We gay men spend an awful lot of time looking for boyfriends. Could Brad Gooch's Finding the Boyfriend Within mean searching in bars and clubs for the perfect guys is all in vein? Get the secrets to gay love success in this review of Brad Gooch's Finding the Boyfriend Within.

You already have a boyfriend, you just didn't know it.

If I didn't know better I'd swear I already had a boyfriend that was the perfect man for me. Brad Gooch spells out in plain language a concept that's somewhat difficult to grasp at first: Your perfect man already lives inside you. You are him and he is you. Confused now? Just wait until you start going on dates with your inner boyfriend as Gooch suggests. There's no need to fear, however. Brad Gooch wittingly takes a controversial and often confusing approach to dating and turns it into a practical guide elementary enough for all of us to understand and easy enough for anyone to read.

The concept is simple. Most of us don't have a deep understanding of our own selves, nor have much "me-love," so finding a boyfriend is almost impossible. By tapping into our inner selves, not through seance or some mystical magic, but by simple communication of our inner needs, we can achieve greater personal fulfillment and dating satisfaction. In a sense (no pun intended) our inner voices tell us all we need to know about what we need and desire in a man. This voice is our boyfriend within and needs to be treated as a boyfriend. He is our true source of love, happiness and respect as Mr. Gooch puts it.

A few simple exercises could mean long lasting love.

According to Brad Gooch, "The stranger across the room is often just a mirror in which we're really seeing some of our own best qualities, the qualities of our Boyfriend Within. We project these qualities outward." If you don't believe the hype that you are what you eat, just follow the simple exercises spelled out at the end of each chapter. You'll notice an immediate change in the way you see yourself and others, as I did. Brad Gooch puts the meaning of these exercises (some of which are as simple as writing a pro/con list of having a boyfriend) in the context of his own life, not some outside observer claiming to have found the secret grail of gay dating.

Each chapter is a journey forward into inner consciousness, but what Brad Gooch fails to drive home is that this is no one time affair. Of course the author already had the discipline to keep the lines of communication with himself open, but an easy to read checklist or follow up guide would be beneficial to those of us who need a constant daily reminder that we get what we seek.

Does a life with your inner boyfriend mean a life without an outside man?

Who needs a boyfriend when you can just fall in love with yourself? Well, a little human contact can go a long way, but most of us look for others to complete us instead of compliment our lives. The point of Finding the Boyfriend Within isn't to replace those great moments cuddling or holding hands with your boo, it's meant to create an inner love and honesty that will ensure your next boo is closer to the man of your dreams. In Chapter Five, Brad Gooch explains, "The Boyfriend Within will enhance your connection with your Boyfriend Without, not to mention with your... friendships and your partnerships."

The bottom line.

Though Finding the Boyfriend Within is a quick and easy read, it can be a difficult concept for many to grasp and way too easy to brush off as one guy's delusion. But as with any other consciousness bending tool, the reader has to be ready and open to change. If you are willing to change, there are few "how to" resources as easy to read or as entertaining as Finding the Boyfriend Within. The guide is a helpful resource for both the man that hates being alone and the one that can't stand to be with other human beings. Brad Gooch fills in the mysterious gap in our lives; the one most of us refuse to acknowledge- ourselves.
User Reviews

Reviews for this section have been closed.

 5 out of 5
Absolutely inspiring and motivating read, Member RussellGrevler

This book has helped me come to terms with my sexuality. I now know its ok to be openly gay. Keeping it bottled up inside was killing me. The only way to love a boy is to love the boy within. After reading this book I look forward to meeting new guys as I have so much love to give.

1 out of 1 people found this helpful.

  1. About.com
  2. People & Relationships
  3. Gay Life

©2014 About.com. All rights reserved.