My Boyfriend Is Jealous Of My Best Friend

Hey,

I went to file taxes with my ex, now best friend. My current lover asked me where I went after the tax place and if I really had to go. I told him after we filed taxes he brought me home. My lover told me he didn't want to feel stupid because his friends are starting to question why I'm hanging with my ex. I guess to the gay community hanging or communicating with your ex is the same as having sex with them.

I'm my own person and I really don't become friends with most of my ex's. How I get my lover to stop listening to his friends and be comfortable with me hanging out with my ex?

-Uncle Sam

Hey,

Who said anything about sex? You're man sure didn't and frankly you seem a little jumpy. The issue here isn't the "gay men can't be friends without sex" stereotype. The problem is you're doing things with your ex that you should be doing with your man. Something tells me that your recent tax trip with prior pastures isn't the first time you've left your man at home alone to play in the weeds.

How do you keep your current lover happy? Well, first don't reduce his call for attention down to gay camp. Like I said, you're the one hanging out with your ex (obviously at undisclosed locations) without your boo. I think that warrants an inquiry or two from your lover and his friends.

Second, bring him along on your excursions. Sure, you and your ex are just good friends, but remember he no longer has the same priority that your man should have. Or does he? Don't get frustrated at your man for wondering the same thing I am, which is why you're friends with this particular ex and not the others? And why the solo fun trips?

If you're being faithful, then show him. He's not the third wheel or your side kick. He's your lover! Chill out the hang time with your "ex" for a while and run some errands with your hubby. Show him that a present and future with him is even more fun than a past with your ex.

He's calling out for attention and rightly so. When he asked you those jealous man questions, what he's really looking for is reassurance. Getting defensive may not be the best way to handle it. If you act now you and show him that he is, in fact, your number one, then you can avoid an impending "me or him" drama fest.

Yours wondering where you are,
Mona