Is It Time To Make A Move?

Hi Mona,  

I like a guy that's recently single. He was in a relationship for over a year.  What can I do to let him know that I'm interested without looking like I'm jumping straight on after he has split with his ex?  We do know each other, but not that well (we are both in the same line of work).  His last relationship didn't work because they didn't see each other due to his work hours.  Recently he has commented that I smell nice and last weekend for the first time he kissed me goodbye on the cheek. Perhaps I am reading the wrong signs here... How do I get him and at the same time let the dust settle from his last relationship? I would be gutted to think that someone else got in there first.    

Cheers  

Dear Elle,  

I'm reminded of one Paulette Bonafonté in the gay-loved film classic Legally Blonde. Paulette was a sumptuous nail tech hopelessly in love with the UPS delivery guy. He came in every day to deliver a package to the beauty shop and to offer Paulette a special delivery of his own. He gave her a flirtatious nod. She shied down her eyes. He said hi. She gave him a bloody nose. Now you see, the UPS guy delivered every sign, short of a straight up cat call, that he was into her, but Paulette let her fear keep her from pushing back. Eventually, with a little help, she snapped her shoulders back and gave it a go. They married and even appeared in the sequel.  

The opportunity to perform your own bend and snap is already there. A comment on your scent? A kiss on your cheek? My goodness, man, ask him out already before he starts cruising around the lunch room. He's interested. If he wasn't ready to move on, he wouldn't be flirting with you like mad.  

I would suggest, however, that at some point you get down to the bottom of why he and ex really broke up. Keep in mind, you've only gotten the digest of why he split with his ex. I'm not buying the work hours story. Mona knows that we find the time for the things that we really want. Get specifics, but don't overrun your dinner conversation with talks about the past. Ultimately, what you're looking for is a quick snap shot into how to avoid becoming his next ex or whether you should avoid him altogether.

But, before that can happen, you've got to make a move. The worst that can happen is that you end up exactly where you started–as plutonic work buddies.  

Yours at the water cooler,
Mona