In Love With My Teen Co-worker

Hi Mona,

I worked for a few years with another guy. He was young and wanted to learn, so I taught him as much as I could. The more time I spent with him the more I liked him. I started inviting him out to party and hang out and grew closer and closer to him. Technically, since I was his boss I thought for sure it wouldn't be right to say anything about this to him, plus he was 17 and I, 21.

The company we worked for started falling apart so we found work elsewhere. I felt a great sense of longing in the few weeks I didn't see him.

On New Years I had been drinking and wrote him a long email saying that I missed him and that I wanted to be with him. He responded by saying that he missed me too.

Surely a man shouldn't talk to a teen about how much he loves him, right?

I've seen him a few times since, but I can't seem to help but think what I'm doing is somehow wrong. Being older as well as a teacher to him (to some degree), I feel like I'm taking advantage of him or acting inappropriate for a person in a position of power.

Do you think I should pursue this? Should it remain a friendship or should I try to develop this into a more meaningful relationship?

So Ennis,

You and your love interest met on the job and now you find yourself distanced, longing for each others' embrace. It sounds like you've got your own personal Brokeback story in play, sans the tent scene and the wives. (OK, maybe that's a stretch, but I can honor the late Heath Ledger in my own way, right?).

Back to you 'mo. Are you a bad person for falling for a 17-year-old? Bad, no. Inappropriate, yes! Since he is so young and you were in a power position as his boss, Mona has to throw some caution in the fan: Keep it appropriate!

I say, trust your gut and keep a friendship for now (better yet, a few years). His attraction may be limited to your nurturing nature and your true attraction may lie in the need to nurture him. Squash the self-guilt and take a step back. Something tells me you know what boundaries to keep until the age thing and the person of authority thing subsides.

If there is one thing in this world Mona is certain of (besides the fact that love makes us do some really silly things) it's that hearts come together when they are meant to bond, but not always at the right time or in the right circumstance.

I'm sure you're eager to "teach" him all you know, but throw a little common sense into your situation (which I know you have seeming you're only writing me to confirm what you already know you have to do).

Soon you'll find a warm body to nurture. It may eventually be your friend (at a legal age) or it may be someone else. Just stay open and start using your most vertical brain instead of the one that's destined to get you in a heap of a mess.

Yours on horseback,
Mona