Mona,
My boyfriend and I have been going out for a couple of months and we're in a healthy relationship. Everything's going great except for sex. He orgasms a bit too early.
He's a real good sport about it, but I know it's affecting his self-esteem. He's often apologizing for his premature ejaculation and I can't help but feel the slightest bit guilty. Is there anything we can do to work on the timing (preferably keep him in the game a bit longer)?
Thanks,
Working on Timing
Dear Bad Timing,
Sex is a sport best played in pairs and it's a man-on-man drag when one partner leaves the game early. We all know too much of a man's self-esteem is wrapped up in his sexual scorecard, which is why the Truth About Penis Size article is always one of Gay Life's most popular. Yet, sex is an important factor in any relationship, so why wouldn't we want to give our best performance?
To help your beau with his premature pickle, I consulted About.com's Men's Health experts. Here's what they suggest:
- "Self Distraction
If your arousal levels are getting too high and a climax is beginning, take a deep breath and think about something else, something very boring if possible. When you are less aroused but maintaining an erection you can then continue. - Stop and Start Method
If you find yourself nearing climax withdraw your penis from your partner and allow yourself to relax enough to prevent ejaculation. By starting and stopping sexual stimulation you can learn to prolong the sex act. - Squeeze Methods
This method involves either the man or his partner squeezing (fairly firmly) the end or the tip of the penis for 10 to 20 seconds when ejaculation is imminent, withholding stimulation for about 30 seconds, then continuing stimulation. This can be repeated until ejaculation is desired. The stop and start method can be used with the squeeze method as well. - Desensitizing Creams
Creams can be used to desensitize the end of the penis. They act like a local or tropical anesthetic. Thicker condoms (or two condoms) can also desensitize by decreasing sensitivity and therefore stimulation, thus prolonging the sexual act. - More Foreplay
Stimulate your partner to a state of high arousal before you have your genitals touched, that way ejaculation and orgasm can be achieved about the same time. - Masturbation
Practice different methods by yourself. Getting to know your feelings and sensations gives you the chance to gain confidence."
Best in the bedroom,
Mona
